By A Queer Girl
It’s a hole
Lurking within the shadows
Able to pounce anytime
Gnawing via my insides
Unusually making a heavy weight
Regardless of the inside erosion
That appears so onerous to carry up
My soul droops from being parched
And withers inside slowly
Sucking the life out of me
The thrill of life are simply in phrases
I eat in order to feed the physique
However when the soul isn’t fed
How will the physique be glad?
So it shrinks and loses weight
What is that this I ask
Took me years to know
That that is the sensation of persistent loneliness
From not having somebody to really feel related with
Being queer, it appears to be the anticipated state
I noticed in my 30s that I’m a lesbian
And now all my previous is smart
After teenage, I’ve all the time been lonely
Or in unrequited love with out realizing
What I assumed was friendship was truly love
With a number of of my straight finest feminine associates
These relationships lasted and gave me pleasure
Till they discovered a man as a companion
I used to be additionally the tremendous dependable finest pal
To dump their sorrows and provides a soothing shoulder
As a result of I used to be all the time there for them
With out having to place any effort
It was solely after I wanted them
I noticed with shock that they weren’t there for me
For his or her emotions have been for some man
So when their want of me was gone
I used to be additionally gone from their lives
Don’t get me incorrect
They aren’t in charge
Besides some who used my firm to cope with their loneliness
What about my male associates one could ask
Ohh nicely is my reply
For they invariably turned out to be messy
For after I obtained near them
They typically developed emotions for me
Which I couldn’t reciprocate
So that they distanced themselves
I reached some extent
The place I didn’t have anybody
Emotionally out there for me to attach with
With out even realizing why
Sufficient of this sob story I inform myself
How do I am going ahead?
To reclaim my life again
To benefit from the tasty meals I used to take pleasure in
To cherish the moments of life
I cannot lie
It’s a struggle on a regular basis in opposition to despair
Then I consider my fellow queer brethren
Particularly those that are trans
If my probability of discovering a companion is low
Sadly theirs is infinitesimally small
Are we cursed in society?
Or ought to we be offended in the direction of society?
These feelings aren’t useful
What’s necessary is
I march on
Carrying the struggle ahead
To interrupt heteronormativity of society
In order that, if not me
At the very least the following era of queer of us
Dwell a fulfilled life
